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All material is my personal opinion,
and not that of any other organization. Copyright 2001. Permission
is granted for individual teacher use. All rights reserved.
Feedback is invited: Email me!
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Laws of Nature
GRAND PRIZE WINNER
When a cat is dropped, it always
lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands
with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered
toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches
above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed
monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
RUNNERS-UP:
- #1: If an infinite number of rednecks
riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite
number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs,
they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works
in Braille.
- #2:Why Yawning Is Contagious: You
yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure
change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures,
so they must yawn to even it out.
- #3 Communist China is technologically
underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot
use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.
- #4 The earth may spin faster on
its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate
of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body,
the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously
fast.
HONORABLE MENTION:
- #1 Birds take off at sunrise. On
the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This
causes the earth to spin on its axis.
- #2 The reason hot-rod owners raise
the backs of their cars is that it's easier to go faster when
you're always going downhill. Besides, they get better gas mileage
that way.
- #3 The quantity of consonants in
the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they
turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah,"
the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh"
his car and invest in "erl wells."
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