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All material is my personal opinion,
and not that of any other organization. Copyright 2001. Permission
is granted for individual teacher use. All rights reserved.
Feedback is invited: Email me!
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Real Classified
Ads
(Actual excerpts from
classified sections of city newspapers)
- Illiterate? Write today
for free help.
- Auto Repair Service.
Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere
again.
- Our experienced Mom will
care for your child.Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
- Dog for sale: eats anything
and is fond of children.
- Man wanted to work in
dynamite factory. Must bewilling to travel.
- Stock up and save. Limit:
one.
- Semi-Annual after-Christmas
Sale.
- 3-year old teacher needed
for pre-school.Experience preferred.
- Mixing bowl set designed
to please a cook withround bottom for efficient beating.
- Girl wanted to assist
magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
- Dinner Special -- Turkey
$2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
- For sale: antique desk
suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Now is your chance to
have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
- We do not tear your clothing
with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- For sale. Three canaries
of undermined sex.
- Great Dames for sale.
- Have several very old
dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
- Tired of cleaning yourself.
Let me do it.
- Vacation Special: have
your home exterminated.
- Get rid of aunts. Zap
does the job in 24 hours.
- Toaster: A gift that
every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- For Rent: 6-room hated
apartment.
- Man, honest. Will take
anything.
- Used Cars: Why go elsewhere
to be cheated. Come here first.
- Christmas tag-sale. Handmade
gifts for the hard-to-find person.
- Wanted: Hair cutter.
Excellent growth potential.
- Wanted. Man to take care
of cow that does not smoke or drink.
- Our bikinis are exciting.
They are simply the tops.
- Wanted. Widower with
school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping
duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
- And now, the Superstore-unequaled
in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
- We will oil your sewing
machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
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